- Posted on June 28, 2017 5:03 pm
Today I became Dr Chris, Doctor of Veterinary Medicine. Yet the only difference between yesterday and tomorrow is a piece of paper…
I am not sure what the price is for this piece of paper. It’s cost me a lot yet the euros that were spent feel so insignificant today. I moved to a new country to get it. I paid with 5 years of my life. Weeks where I was so tired that I didn’t even know what day it was. Nights where instead of my bed I was in cold stables, or stood at an operating table. Days where I didn’t have time to eat. Christmases spent in surgery. Nights spent reading books. Hours on planes to conferences and practice.
Patients that have made me so happy, patients that have made me bleed, and patients that have made me cry. Patients that have died. Patients that have survived. And the patients that have surprised.
The days where I doubted myself. Where I wondered if I deserved to be here with other such smart people. Where I wondered if I was even good enough to be here at all. Days where I felt overloaded with impossible amounts of information. Days where I just wanted to give up and sleep.
The state exam days where I felt I knew nothing and had to force myself to go and be judged. Not by what I could do… but by what I could remember… usually with no sleep… my brain below average performance… Knowing I could be asked anything…
The mental and physical scars that the journey to get this piece of paper has inflicted are still fresh… yet today I walk away having survived, having overcome, and having become a doctor.
This piece of paper is priceless. It gives me permission to keep on learning…Posted in categories: Vet School Diary